I know where I’m going but I don’t. What am I exactly looking for? Myself? I don’t think so. I know myself pretty well. What I like, what I don’t like. What I’m like and what other people can be like. The diversity in this world, the differences, the similarities. What drives me, what moves me and what doesn’t. My interests, my feelings, my good and bad characteristics. How stubborn I can be but how that can also help me in situations. How strong I can be when I need to. How I’m vulnerable in the right moments. How I keep myself safe. That’s why I wasn’t scared to go on this trip. I knew I would be safe.
So what is it I’m looking for? Right now I feel like I just want to see as much as possible. Just keep going. Forever and ever. When I think of home it seems even smaller in my head than I knew it was. It seems insignificant. Small, but great in it’s own way. Nobody can ever recreate an air like the one back home. But the more I see, the more I realize that counts for all the places. It’s a certain something, actually a whole list of things that makes you feel the way you do in a certain place. A good or a bad vibe. Or somewhere in between.
So I’ll keep wandering and wondering and taking everything in. Until I find something. I’m not sure what yet. But I’ll find something. Somewhere.
Yesterday my bank cards decided to stop working. (It was my own stupid fault, I had reached my credit card’s limit and I apparently had forgotten to put my normal bankcard on world-mode.) So I had to live off of $4.40 for the day. You’re so used to having money, regardless of what happens… So it was a bit strange to have to look for food under $4.40, but I succeeded and today all is good.
I also went to the zoo yesterday. Now I don’t like zoo’s. I can’t stand the fact that I’m looking at animals that are bound to a space that I would go absolutely nuts in, due to it’s size. But I really didn’t want to leave Australia without seeing a Koala bear, so I went and I saw the Koala’s and they were really cute. Like really cute. I almost stole one when no one was looking. So cute. Amazingly cute.
Tonight I’m going to Ollie, on the farm at the Great Ocean Road. Near the Twelve Apostles. I’m really excited! We’re going to do lots of amazing stuff and it must be absolutely beautiful up there so I can’t wait to be there. And to sleep in a bed without drunk people coming in at 5 or 6 or 7 in the morning. That would be nice. A quiet night of sleep.
The uploading of the photos isn’t really working out, but I’ll try again on my phone (I’m on a library computer right now) and then the photos will be in the PHOTOS&VIDEOS page very soon.
I’ll keep you posted. Until then.
X o x o